Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
