You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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