We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
