): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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