Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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