I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize