It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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