Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
