The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He literally asked permission to hit on me
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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