quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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