Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
