i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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