Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
