You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
