I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
