the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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