Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
