this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
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please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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