Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
