just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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