Nicole vs. Life
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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