TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
