No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
