How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
