I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
