I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
