BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
