burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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