The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
