I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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