So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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