i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
