from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
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3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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