don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
