he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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