I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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