im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
