tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
