So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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