Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
