Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
