One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just found puke in my bra..
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
