Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
