I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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