he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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