So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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