I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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