oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
