dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
