You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
