Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
