How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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