Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
