come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
