I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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