Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Come share oat with me in your robe
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
