There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
