Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Boobs are out for the taking
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
