i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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