So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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