I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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