are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
