when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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