It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
