you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
