ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
