its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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